Finding My Spiritual Home in Rural Sisaket

I was always confident that my decision to leave the UK and start again in Thailand was the right one, and I would make the most of everyday life. What I hadn't bargained for was falling in love and getting ready to move to the northeast of the country. Those were the facts as I got into the car with Taew in September 2022, who was taking me to her home village in rural Sisaket for the first time.

Soon to Become Home, Sweet Home

A New Start

I’d arrived and quickly settled into the familiar surroundings of Minburi in the Bangkok suburbs. Unknown to me when I first arrived, Taew had been living there for 20 years, running a restaurant and bar. We became friends and then a couple. She wanted to head home, tired and realising that the business wasn’t sustainable.

While it seemed like a big move for me, I was undaunted. After all, what did I have to lose? I had the love of a good woman and the chance to fully integrate myself into Thai life, which was always my plan. Sure, I would have to adapt and try to learn the local lingo, but that was right up my street.

Off we headed on the 8-hour journey, giving me the chance to see new places. We passed through the industrial landscape of Saraburi, alongside the vast Lam Takhong Dam and reservoir, before reaching the flat agricultural plains of Isan. We stopped occasionally for convenience breaks and snacks, reaching Sisaket province around 4 pm.

We headed north towards our destination and then stopped. Where were we? Taew phoned her mum, as she’d forgotten how to reach the village! As we neared, I wondered what I would find, feeling slightly nervous, though nothing compared to my good lady.

Auntie Lamyong being Auntie Lamyong

Quite a Welcoming Party

Quite a gathering had assembled. Along with Taew’s mum and dad were a gaggle of female relatives and friends from the village waiting to inspect this farang, as Westerners are generally known by Thais. It was quickly apparent that the excitement had made some of them thirsty.

With my limited language skills and lots of smiles, I greeted everyone. The bungalow we would move into looked just as beautiful as in the photos I’d seen. I was taken aback to find it had no bathroom, and showering would be traditional by means of a bucket of water in the outside facility.

Not to worry. That was one of the reasons for the visit, so we could determine what was needed for us to be comfortable when we moved. Wi-Fi was quickly added to the list, even though I could get a phone signal. The scenery was stunning, but I also knew that we were more remote than I imagined.

It was time to eat. I mentioned that the chicken tasted fresh, not realising we'd driven past it while it was still running around. Another quick lesson about my new life. Taew and I sat at a table under the metalled lean-to and outdoor kitchen. Something wasn’t quite right.

The ladies were sitting on the deck of a slightly raised platform without chairs and chatting away. It was obvious we were the conversation piece, so I decided to go and join them, sitting right in the middle with a bottle of beer.

This seemed to go down well. I was offered a shot of Lao Khao, the cheap Thai rice whisky, which I downed and then grimaced for effect. Again, it brought laughter. I certainly had an obliging audience. One of them had a couple more scoops and wanted me to join in. This is where I gambled massively.

While my Thai was limited, I knew the term for a drunk lady. So, I told her, “jai yen yen, lamyong”, calm down, you drunken lady. It could have been a huge faux pas, especially on a first meeting, but everyone roared with laughter, not least Lamyong, who turned out to be Taew’s auntie. We immediately became best friends.

A nice evening ensued, with more food and drink, with me repeatedly asking Taew if she was happy. She seemed so, taking great delight when I had to shower the local way and cowering at the cold buckets of water. I had plenty to ponder when we went to bed on a rolled-up kapok mattress.

Auntie Lamyong being Auntie Lamyong

A Wonderful Week

We went on to stay for 7 days, which were great fun, while providing me with many lessons and lots to think about regarding keeping occupied and how I would get about. Especially as a non-driver and someone who has never ridden a motorcycle.

We had some fantastic days out, with Lamyong, her daughter Nok, whom I had met before in Minburi and who was over from France, where she had married a man from Lyon, her wonderful little grandson Kim, and Taew’s mum. They could not have been kinder and more welcoming.

For a couple of days, we visited lots of temples, met more relatives, and ate at different restaurants. Taew and I had a day in Sisaket town, 21km away, allowing me to see some of the sights, buy our first 4 plants for the garden, and also attend a football game. 

She waited outside in the car park, not interested in watching. I was astonished when her uncle, Suryan, who lived along the lane, came and sat next to me. I hoped I made a better impression on him at the match than when we visited his home, and I bashed my head trying to go inside his goat pen.

A Family Affair

Morning Exercise

Each morning, I would go for a walk, using Google Maps to plan my route. I was as inquisitive as ever and wanted to see the nearby villages. I astonished the family, often returning over 2 hours later, and walked over 10 km. 

Ning, married to one of Taew’s cousins, was a traffic cop, stopping one day beside me and asking if I wanted a ride back to the house. He couldn’t believe I wanted to walk. I had been armed with the simple phrases of where I was staying, if anyone asked where I was going. Not that much English was spoken.

One morning, I returned ready for breakfast with a wide grin. A small group of local men invited me to sit down and have a shot of Lao Khao. I obliged but was told by Taew it was best not to get too involved, as some, but not all, might try to take advantage of my perceived wealth.

Taew took me around the village, introducing me to family members along the way and also showing me the home where she was born and Suan Kluai School, which she attended as a youngster, giving me a feel for the place.

School Reunion

Another day, we headed to a shop selling Chinese noodles, before the ladies put together food as an invite was given to family members to attend and meet us. It turned into a wonderful occasion, going on late into the night. The good luck tradition of blessing us and tying string around our wrists was observed by everyone.

Into the evening, a smiling man arrived just as we were running out of beer, with the local stores closed. Not to worry. He knew somewhere and soon returned with another box containing large bottles of Leo. He announced he was going to be my bodyguard, so the name stuck. I never found out his Thai name for a couple of years.

Even the pouring rain on our final day didn’t dampen our spirits, as once more family members called round for a very sociable day. While it wasn’t easy for me to speak and have long conversations, smiling went a long way. 

We packed and departed on Sunday morning. I was genuinely sad to say goodbye, but I knew we would be returning. I told Taew to let her dad know it was fine to source a local team to build a kitchen and bathroom extension to the house. He and his wife waved us off.

A Happy Couple

Back to Bangkok

When we stopped on the way back, Taew’s mum phoned. Taew told me just how much she enjoyed us being there and was already missing us. It made me feel a million dollars, knowing that the family were happy that the eldest child had found someone who made her happy and who they wanted around.

My first visit to rural Sisaket, where I hoped to spend the rest of my life, was certainly an eye-opener. It left me in no doubt that the challenges could be overcome and, more importantly, that Taew came from a kind, respected family. In Thailand, family plays a central role in any relationship, and knowing I had been welcomed so warmly meant everything.